I Want to Be a Person of Walmart.

There is a difference between acknowledging that something is hard and carrying it. Naming the Indicators has been the work of the last four weeks. Carrying them is not the same thing, and this week I want to prove it.

So let’s talk about one of my secret hopes and fears.

I want to be a person of Walmart.

You know the ones. The memes. The pajama pants. The unfiltered, unmade-up, entirely undone versions of humans running into the store for the one thing they forgot. That is who I want to be for one grocery run. And I cannot.

There was a period of my career when I could not run to Walmart in my least made-up state without seeing someone who knew me. Someone from my community. Someone I worked with. Someone who had opinions about who I was supposed to be. Every single time. Without fail. I started dressing up for the grocery run. And then I started avoiding Walmart entirely. Some of that was on me. Some of it was real.

That is the topic of this week’s newsletter. The Always On Problem.

Women at altitude tend to occupy positions that come with a spotlight. Executives at the top of their organizations. Founders out networking to bring in the next client. Professionals who serve a wide swath of their local community. The always-on problem shows up because you cannot walk into a public space without someone knowing who you are, or at least wanting to. Different roles bring different intensities of it. Almost none of us escape it entirely.

The problem is not the visibility itself. Most of us understand that visibility is part of the job we chose. The problem is what happens when the visibility stops being a role you step into and starts being the only version of yourself you know how to be.

You start to lose track of the version of yourself that existed before the role. Not all at once. Gradually. Until one day you notice you have been holding your public face for so long that you have forgotten how to set it down.

My husband told me during this season that my personality had morphed. He was not being harsh. He was noticing that I was wearing my always-on face even at home, and warning me that if I was not careful, I would start losing the parts of myself I most needed to keep.

He was right. And the tiny tweak that changes it is smaller than you think.

🔜The Impact Conundrum comes next.

🤏TINY TWEEK Challenge

Find one place where you can be a person of Walmart. Where you can let your hair down, or throw it back in a ponytail with no makeup and comfy clothes, and be one hundred percent purely yourself. Not for anyone else. Just for you.

If you found a place where you get to be a person of Walmart, I would love to hear where it is. Reply and let me know.