The Gut Punch You Didn’t See Coming

Last week, something hit me that I didn't see coming. It was feedback I needed to hear, but didn't see coming. It hit me HARD. It was the kind of situation that takes the wind out of you before you've even processed what just happened.

When the gut punch comes, you have a choice. You can take the ibuprofen route and dull the ache so you can keep moving. Or you can take the slower route and actually unpack it. Separate the wheat from the chaff. Figure out what the punch was trying to tell you, and understand why it stole your breath.

Most of the time, ibuprofen wins. Not because we don't want to do the deeper work, but because we don't have the structure to do it with anyone else. So we do it alone, or we don't do it at all.

I just went through this. A gut punch I didn't see coming. And without thinking about it, I started my usual routine: absorb it, let it send me into a tailspin, before starting to unpack it, analyze it, and try to figure out the lesson buried within it. Alone.

Not because I don't have people who love me. But because I'm trained to think things through solo. The backstory tax is too high. My words might not come out right. So I swallow them instead.

This is what thinking in isolation actually looks like. Not a lack of love. Not a lack of people. A trained reflex to handle the hard stuff by yourself because the cost of bringing someone else in feels higher than the cost of carrying it alone. Or because we don't want to burden others with something we can "take care of" ourselves.

Here's what I'm realizing: 👇

You don't have to process the gut punch alone.

If you want to tell me what your version of the gut punch was, hit reply. I read every one. I've been there. I am there. And you shouldn't have to do it by yourself.

🤏TINY TWEEK Challenge

The next time a “gut punch” hits, don’t process it alone.

Before you analyze it, fix it, or make sense of it… Pause and bring one person in. Not five. Not a whole group. Just one.

Send a simple message:
“Something just happened and I don't have words for it yet. Can I think it through with you?”

That’s it.

Because the goal isn’t to process it perfectly.
It’s to interrupt the pattern of processing it alone.

You’re not actually as “independent” as you think in those moments; you’re just practiced at isolation.

This is how you start to break that.